Light slices through the crack in the curtains of my living room.

Moonbeams penetrate the darkness that cloaks me.

Their silvery light touches my hands, as if to console me like a long lost friend...

My only company on a cloudless summer night.

The weight of a big decision lays heavy across my shoulders.

Profound realization is beckoning me.

Instead of celebrating a new year, surrounded by friends and family...

I am sitting in the dark, alone, doing a whole lot of soul searching.

Reflecting on what I want out of life.

It is so quiet, it is eerie.

In the stillness, I can think.

I am not as happy as I believe I could be.

Deep down I want to leave my partner, but struggle to do it without hurting him.

I no longer feel connected to the house we live in.

Even though the work I am doing pays me well, it still isn't the best use of my abilities.

I know I am not tapping into my full potential.

The way I am living feels monotonous and repetitive.

I still feel joy and happiness in small things, but even they are becoming less frequent.

I am 'shoulding' myself into feeling grateful about where I am at.

The truth is; I feel stuck and frustrated.

Life plateaus suck.

On top of that, for months, I have been catching glimpses and visions of another life.

While going about my normal routine, images beam into my third eye of places I have never visited before.

I see experiences I have never lived, yet feel so familiar.

I keep seeing palm trees and endless blue skies, as I drive along the road with a dark-haired stranger.

In these visions, I know it is overseas, far away from New Zealand.

It feels like California.

I always feel light and joyous.

E X P A N S I V E

Dreams come too, that feel so real, I awake from them and feel disoriented.

Unsure what is real and what is the dream.

Sometimes, I wake in a flood of tears.

This is the intense response to separation from the man that keeps visiting me in them.

Someone I do not know, but feel a deep connection with.

This same man visited me in my dream, when I slept at the foot of the mountain beneath Machu Picchu.

Except I saw him as he looked in a lifetime in Ancient Rome.

This man always makes me feel unsettled when I am awake.

I feel guilty every time I dream of him, even though I have done nothing wrong.

The soul connection we have is so powerful.

It seems as though he is reminding me about something important I am forgetting.

You see, an uncomfortable question has been nagging at the edges of my mind for quite some time.

And now, I find myself awaiting the real answer without any distractions.

I refuse to avoid the response I have been afraid to acknowledge.

For answering this question with honesty will forever change the trajectory of my life as I know it.

The question is simple yet profound; 

Is this what I want in life?

Of course, I know the answer long before I feel the response well up from deep within my heart. 

I have known the truth for longer than I care to admit. 

I have denied it for a long time because the answer means so much upheaval.

It means total uncertainty and change from all that is comfortable and familiar.

I know by honoring the answer, I will have no further excuses.

I will have to take full responsibility for what I am creating.

I will need complete and utter faith in that which I cannot see, yet.

But, I know it will come to be, if I allow it, instead of chasing it.

And so, I begin my life anew.

Choosing not to sell myself short and live a life of quiet desperation.

I embrace courage.

The kind of courage required to follow the song of my heart, no matter what.

I end my stagnant relationship with grace and compassion.

I pack up my belongings, donate 90% of what I own, and leave the house we shared.

I adjust my approach in business so I can use more of my potential.

Fulfillment is my new Northstar.

It's a journey of practice, change, and constant adjustment - at times scary, yet undeniably adventurous.

New people, travel, and experiences fill my heart with happiness, freedom, and growth.

I go wherever my heart guides me, making sure to fit it around my work schedule.

I invite my parents to the US for a family holiday (first time in America for me and my mama) this is a total blast.

I fall in love with America.

I say yes to opportunities that get me outside of my comfort zone.

I want to squeeze everything I can out of life and enjoy it all.

I want to experience life in all it's diversity.

I even fly to LA for a random 3-day mentoring by the co-founder of Mindvalley...

And, then come straight back into the office, direct from a 12-hour flight and I am on fire.

I work hard and I play hard.

I help the business I contract to take out top awards.

Every single person I train rises to the top and becomes the best in the country, picking up prizes galore.

I revisit Egypt and get another lot of activations near the oldest pyramids.

For the first couple of days I am the only person who speaks English, and yet, I thrive.

I make friends with the locals who take good care of me and treat me like family.

(Also, I am very grateful when my peers arrive and I can talk in English again!)

During mystery school training, the dream man comes to visit me yet again.

I recognize his energetic signature now, even if I don't quite know what he looks like.

I go through highs and lows, ups and downs, and I love it all.

I feel so alive.

This is the medicine I needed.

My changes haven’t gone unnoticed.

People keep asking why I am so radiant.

This path has led me to radiant joy, to the vibrancy that comes from living with passion, power, and purpose.

As I have experienced, the more I trust the rhythms of life, the more miraculous everything becomes.

Until one day, I realize that what I wanted, what I dreamed of has - for the most part - become my waking reality.

I feel fulfilled, while still yearning to become more.

And, I am joyfully married to the dark-haired one who used to visit me in my dreams...

This man who calls California home ;)

This is the payoff of honouring myself and following my truth.

Truth is stranger and more beautiful than fiction.

So, I invite you to ask that uncomfortable question lingering in the edges of your mind. 

The answer might set you on a trajectory of upheaval and change...

But it's a journey worth taking.

Trust in the unseen, embrace the unknown, and, one day, you may find your waking reality aligning with the dreams that once graced your sleep.

𓋹 Dani⁣